The Hammer Holds

A shapeless piece of steel, that’s all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I’m twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I’m sure I’m bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I’ll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for thee, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt’s subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I’ll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for thee, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it’s more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I’ll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for thee, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds

Emma’s clinic went well, they were impressed with her echo and EKG. There is some questions about her liver, but she has always had a big liver so they said they would review her labs and get back to me on that. (IOW: we are not too concerned) There is also some question about her CO2 levels on her last blood draw, it was remarkably lower than the time before, but some of her immune-suppressant drugs cause renal tubular acidosis as does her Mitochondrial Disease so if her levels are low again, we will just add Bicitra to her meds again. Ill give a more detailed update once I hear from the Transplant Team.

Emma And Barney

Pray for me this week, it is Chemo week (and weekend). I start Thursday Night and end Tuesday Night, so if my posting seems lower than usual, I will be spending this week with my family.
Thanks for your prayers :)
-H

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Note From Heather: All comments are welcome, but I reserve the right to delete at any time. All comments are solely the opinions of the individuals submitting them and the publication of them on this blog does not imply my endorsement or agreement. By posting your comments to the blog you are granting me the right to use them. Your submission of a comment constitutes your acceptance of this comment policy.
In other words: Play Nice

59 Responses to “The Hammer Holds”

  1. Beverly on September 17th, 2007 7:40 am
    1

    So happy that Emma’s clinic appts went as expected. Her life story is remarkable.

    I hope chemo is more managable this time. Maybe it’s a learning curve…and maybe you’re expereinces from last will help this round. And, of course, we’ll be praying that the chemo is doing it’s job.

    You’re amazing Heather. Remember that!

  2. Cat on September 17th, 2007 8:01 am
    2

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers sis.

    So glad that Emma did well at clinic! Keeping her right along with you in my heart and prayers.

    Love you guys!

  3. amy on September 17th, 2007 8:05 am
    3

    Praying for you Heather, miss emma and the rest of your family.

  4. Gina on September 17th, 2007 8:50 am
    4

    I am glad everything went well with Emma’s clinic visit. I will be praying for you as you go through this next round of chemo.

    ~Gina

  5. campstamper03 on September 17th, 2007 9:54 am
    5

    Heather,

    Glad to hear the good news on Emma and praying for the whole family as you enter the next round of chemo.

    Hugs and Prayers,
    Norma

  6. Casey Phelps on September 17th, 2007 9:57 am
    6

    Keeping ya’ll in my prayers. BTW so happy for ya about your peach fuzz! Beeee-u-tiful

  7. Astraea on September 17th, 2007 10:10 am
    7

    Rest in His loving arms this week. Our prayers will be constant!
    Lots of Love,
    Astreaea

  8. Amy Grant Bayliss on September 17th, 2007 10:31 am
    8

    I’m praying for you and the the rest of the family!

    (((BIG hug)))
    Amy

  9. Laurie on September 17th, 2007 10:52 am
    9

    Praying for your chemo to be gentle this week as it continues to tackle the “bad guys”, every last one of them. Rest in God to find each one as He has His eye on you. Emma looks so sweet in her picture, what a little miracle she continues to be, and I pray that all results of testing come back excellent.
    I hope you find plenty of time to rest this week with all you will be doing. It is one thing you can kinda control and it is so important for your body to have this balance. Sleep like a baby often and feel exceptionally well this week. Rub the Fuzz for me!!Good stuff.

    Laurel in Ca.

  10. Betty on September 17th, 2007 11:01 am
    10

    Heather, Just a quick note to tell you that so MANY people love you and your family SO MUCH. We pray for you and your family and know that God is in charge of all. We love you.

    Betty in Oklahoma

  11. Joyful Days on September 17th, 2007 11:37 am
    11

    Many prayers for your whole family, Heather. Continuing to lift you all up.

    Blessings,

    Julie

  12. Marie on September 17th, 2007 11:38 am
    12

    Hi Heather,

    WOW, the lyrics are DEEP.

    Praying for you.

    Marie

  13. Angela on September 17th, 2007 12:58 pm
    13

    I pray for you and Emma everyday!

    God Bless,

    Angela

  14. AliAnn on September 17th, 2007 1:15 pm
    14

    Praying for you this week as you bravely endure chemo again.

  15. Ashleigh on September 17th, 2007 1:16 pm
    15

    Praying for you this week… thinking of you often.

  16. Bonita on September 17th, 2007 1:18 pm
    16

    You are sooo awesome! I am glad that things went as expected at your daughter’s appointment. I also pray that you will have a restful week despite your circumstances.

    Blessings,
    Bonita…………….

  17. Susanne on September 17th, 2007 1:52 pm
    17

    As always praying for you! Those are powerful lyrics.

    Glad that Emma’s appointment went with no surprises!

  18. Holly Smith on September 17th, 2007 2:53 pm
    18

    Praying for you this week and weekend, dear Heather. May God really show off in your week with some laughter and joy!
    Love,
    holly

  19. Terry on September 17th, 2007 4:55 pm
    19

    Dear Heather…Just want to tell you how happy I am that so many of Minerva’s commenters have met her through you.
    Do you really know how amazing you really are?
    You are ill and yet you are an encourager to many many people!
    Minerva goes for her PET scan this Thursday…Love Terry

  20. jan margrave on September 17th, 2007 5:22 pm
    20

    what a wonderful picture of emma. she is a beautiful child!

  21. jan margrave on September 17th, 2007 5:22 pm
    21

    oops, and as usual, PRAYERS for you!!!!! jan

  22. Kay on September 17th, 2007 5:55 pm
    22

    Prayers are with you. Enjoy your time with your family.

  23. Carolynn from Western Australia. on September 17th, 2007 6:39 pm
    23

    I think of you and visist you several times a day.

    I will definitely be sending you good vibes on your Chemo days. I too have a full day Chemo next Monday 28th. Once we get some sunshine here I will have to gently spend some time getting some colour on this white head of mine. I think I’m getting used to it a bit. Still haven’t gone out with it uncovered though, haven’t quite been game yet.

    Emma looks great. Speaking of labs I must do something about getting mine done and see what my Hb is since my transfusion week before last.

    Take Care and may the sunshine on your day.

    Lots of love Carolynn xxx :)

  24. Lynne B. on September 17th, 2007 6:48 pm
    24

    Praising God with you for Emma’s clinic visit. WIll definitely be kicking it up a notch in prayer for chemo days ahead. Thank you for sharing an incredible song with all of us again. Music is sooo important in times of hardship, isn’t it? Love you

  25. kelli on September 17th, 2007 6:54 pm
    25

    Glad to hear things went well with Emma’s appt.

  26. Paula Helton on September 17th, 2007 7:15 pm
    26

    Thanks for the update and definitely will be praying for you this weekend.

  27. Tricia on September 17th, 2007 7:18 pm
    27

    Miss Emma is such a beauty! What a sweetheart!

    Heather, praying for you always and the rest of your family.

    Thinking of ya during Chemo Week…….

    REST, REST, REST my friend.

  28. Michelle on September 17th, 2007 8:02 pm
    28

    Heather,
    Beautiful picture of Emma :)

    I love, love, love Bebo Norman (and Shane & Shane). Thank-you for this song. I hadn’t heard it before. When I first started reading these lyrics, I was thinking it was going to refer to the passage..No weapon formed against you will prosper…and THAT made me think to remind you (again) that nothing the enemy can do is beyond God’s reach. And I am praying that any weapon of sickness from the chemo, God will strike down on your behalf.

    Love and prayers,
    Michelle

  29. Ashley on September 17th, 2007 8:42 pm
    29

    I love this song and I had totally forgotten about it. Thanks for reminding me of such a wonderful song.

    Praying for you and your family always!

    Ashley

  30. Gretchen on September 17th, 2007 11:03 pm
    30

    God be with you during chemo week and always. Great news from Emma’s clinic.

  31. Bobbie on September 17th, 2007 11:29 pm
    31

    The results of the Hammer are lovely to behold.
    because of Jesus, Bobbie

  32. Kathryn Griffiths on September 18th, 2007 1:14 am
    32

    I just prayed for you - that you’ll do better on the chemo this time around. My dh had an MRI last week for his heart - he was in the “tube” for 2 hours! I hope your MRI isn’t that long. I covered him with prayer and he did alright. I’ll also pray for you and your future MRI tests.

    That is such good news - hair!

    God bless you and your family,
    Kate

  33. Renee' on September 18th, 2007 2:20 am
    33

    So glad that Emma’s clinic visit went well. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, especially that the chemo treatment goes smoothly. Take care.

  34. oh amanda on September 18th, 2007 12:54 pm
    34

    Always praying!

  35. Amy T on September 18th, 2007 4:48 pm
    35

    So glad you got some good news before starting chemo this week. Good spirits is definitely a plus! Enjoy your family and focus on feeling good. God bless!

  36. Kandy on September 18th, 2007 6:35 pm
    36

    always praying for you…*hugs*

  37. Alice the Brit on September 18th, 2007 8:56 pm
    37

    Praying for you Heather

    OhMyGosh I love, LOVE, LOVE this Bebo Norman song - he’s one of my favourites

    Alice the Brit

  38. Marcelle on September 18th, 2007 9:23 pm
    38

    Dear Heather,
    We haven’t left a comment yet but have been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now. We came to you via Marisa’s blog, who is a “real-life” friend of my family’s. My husband also has a brain tumour, also grade 3, an oligodendroglioma. He’s also on Temodal (at least that the name here in Canada) and is just finishing his last dose of this cycle tonight. He had surgery April 2, radiation+chemo in May-June and now the chemo for the 6-12 months. I think you guys are about the same age, too. Anyways, we’ve been praying for you and were blessed to read some of your entries. So many times we would read a line that so completely resonated with us… “YES!”, she GETS it, that’s SO what we’re feeling/thinking/etc.
    Enjoy “the week before”…
    Marcelle (+Nate)

  39. Jessica on September 19th, 2007 11:05 am
    39

    I found your blog through another lady’s blog, and I just finished reading your’s and Emma’s stories. I have to say that was a blessing!! Anyone that can read Emma’s story and say “that wasn’t God” is blind!! What an awsome story of how God bless yall over and over. Thanks for sharing your story with me. I am praying for you and your family!

  40. Terry on September 19th, 2007 1:31 pm
    40

    Dear Heather…As you start your chemo tomorrow, we will be praying for you!
    Did you know that Minerva has a PET scan tomorrow?….Love Terry

  41. Monkey Giggles on September 19th, 2007 11:04 pm
    41

    Heather, Just checking in with you. Saying prayers for you .

    Smiles and Hugs.

  42. Melanie Lawrence, MN on September 20th, 2007 1:01 am
    42

    I love that song! I am so glad that God as spoken to you through it. My view of those lyrics have been much different since I have known you. All of you will continue to be in my prayers. God Bless! Melanie

  43. Terry on September 20th, 2007 9:34 am
    43

    Dear Heather…I am praying for you today.
    May the Lord go with you as you start your chemo…Love Terry

  44. Teresa from SC on September 20th, 2007 9:56 am
    44

    Thinkin about you this morning, lifting you up.

  45. Melanie on September 20th, 2007 10:12 am
    45

    Praying for you and thinking of you today. God Bless!

    Happy to hear Emma made out well at her appointment!

  46. Jennifer in CA on September 20th, 2007 12:47 pm
    46

    just wanted to drop in and say hi, and let you know you are being prayed for. thrilled emma grace’s appt went well- and praying for you to have a wonderfully easy week on chemo. lifting you high into heavenly places!

  47. Holly Smith on September 20th, 2007 12:52 pm
    47

    Praying for you today in Colorado! Praying for your strength…the joy of the LORD to be so thick in you today.
    Love,
    holly

  48. Carola on September 20th, 2007 2:59 pm
    48

    I am glad to hear Emma is doing well, I hope the best for you and your next chemo!

  49. Bobbie on September 20th, 2007 3:56 pm
    49

    Sweet Heather
    I was hoping you would pray for my granddaughter Tirzah and her mom Heatherlee.
    As I read her post this morning, I knew you have walked this path. Maybe you have a word of encouragement for her.

    http://yarnyenta.blogspot.com/2007/09/of-drashes-and-midnight-tatrums.html

    Because of Jesus, Bobbie

  50. Sallie on September 20th, 2007 4:36 pm
    50

    Father God be with Heather today as her cemo begins. Give her strength Lord Jesus to make it another day. Protect her good systems and make them stronger so they can combat the stresses and illness that come with cemo. Take the nausea away and give her peaceful sleep and rest that only you can give. Be with the children and with Heather’s husband and annoint them with an extra measure of grace to be and show the love of You to all around them. Father bless this family and keep them close within your arms. Amen.

  51. KimberlyDi on September 20th, 2007 4:58 pm
    51

    I guess you are starting your chemo today. I pray you have a better experience than last time. You are a seasoned veteran now. God Bless.

  52. Teresa from SC on September 21st, 2007 7:49 am
    52

    Good Morning Heather !! I’m going to take today a little bit at a time so I can handle it. I have been coordinating and planning a Praise and Worship service for this Sunday evening and I can’t believe all the barriers that keep popping up. I am for sure under spiritual attack, satan doesn’t want anyone to give thanks and praise to our Lord. SO today I pray the you feel good and make it through this chemo, even if it’s a little bit at a time ! I thank God for your ministry.

  53. Casey on September 21st, 2007 8:49 am
    53

    by your post I know you started Chemo last night. You are in my prayers and I am asking for peace on all sides for you and your family.

  54. Laurie on September 21st, 2007 9:17 am
    54

    You are in my prayers today as you start another round of chemo. I hope
    it is gentle on you and that your body is getting stronger every day in this
    fight. Asking God to watch over your entire family and give them joy so they
    can pass it on to you. You are loved.

    Laurie in Ca.

  55. Jen on September 21st, 2007 10:00 am
    55

    Just wanted to let you know I’ve been praying since last night that your chemo will treat you kindly this go-round. Loving God let the chemo do its job on the cancer and be gentle on Heather. Be strong! You are in a lot of people’s thoughts today and everyday!

  56. GP on September 21st, 2007 12:03 pm
    56

    To say that you’re incredible would be an understatement. Blessings for your whole family

    Shalom and amen
    GP in Montana

  57. Just a mom on September 21st, 2007 1:28 pm
    57

    Hey you I wanted to let you know I have nOT forgotten you ,, and I still have not figured out how to keep my fingers as fast as my brain,, so hang in there na dknow that you ae NOT IN THIS ALONE!!!!!!!!

  58. Bethany on September 21st, 2007 3:19 pm
    58

    Hi Heather, sorry I havn’t said hello in a while. Loved what you wrote about seeing the world through cancer eyes… it’s a very strange sort of blessing to have. Still sending prayers up for you. I think of you often.
    hugs.

  59. Tee on September 21st, 2007 3:33 pm
    59

    Heather, I think of you often. I’m continuing to pray for your healing and that the chemo is do the job.

I would love to hear from you!





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